This is where you can get all the new information about the innevitable adveances the dolphins have made upon us.
I am First Leiutenant Milkshake of the Cats.
Cats? You say? Aren't we talking about DOLPHINS? Well, the answer is no. Everything is actually abut cats deep down. ANYWAY, I don't much like water, and what are the dolphins planning to cover ther Earth in but... YEP. YOU GUESSED IT. WATER.
Soooooooooo here is new information. Mrrrowr.
I am First Leiutenant Milkshake of the Cats.
Cats? You say? Aren't we talking about DOLPHINS? Well, the answer is no. Everything is actually abut cats deep down. ANYWAY, I don't much like water, and what are the dolphins planning to cover ther Earth in but... YEP. YOU GUESSED IT. WATER.
Soooooooooo here is new information. Mrrrowr.
Purrrvember 9, 2016.
Today the dolphins' agent, Donald Trump was officially elected President of the United States, the first of many countries they plan to conuer.
WHY do they want Trump to win? Well, For one, he is in their service. He accepted life servitude in exchange for 100000000000 or so dollars, not realising it would only serve as kindling in his years to come.
And as an added bonus, he doesn't believe in CLIMATE CHANGE. WHICH WILL FLOOD THE EARTH WITH DOLPHIN-APPROVED WATER.
WHY do they want Trump to win? Well, For one, he is in their service. He accepted life servitude in exchange for 100000000000 or so dollars, not realising it would only serve as kindling in his years to come.
And as an added bonus, he doesn't believe in CLIMATE CHANGE. WHICH WILL FLOOD THE EARTH WITH DOLPHIN-APPROVED WATER.
Kittecember 29, 2016
Those hacking attempts? They weren't by any means human attacks. THEY WERE DOLPNINS, like my *purrrr* friend Dolphin Hacker 11.
Not much else to see here, except that: YOU KNOW WHY IT IS SUPER HOT TODAY?!?!?!? CLIMATE CHANGE.
Not much else to see here, except that: YOU KNOW WHY IT IS SUPER HOT TODAY?!?!?!? CLIMATE CHANGE.
This is immnitient, my fiends.
Meowbruary 14, 2017
Well everyone, its time to celebrate what may be our very last Valentine's day. Today we celebrate those we love with frenzied commercialism!
In other news, the most idiotic head of Education possible is a moron. The irony. With the nearly missed confirmation, it is disheartening to see dolphins taking control of America and the rest of the world already. We'll all be six feet under soon-- under water , that is.
This is a scheme by the dolphins, obviously. If this were a political allegory, the dolphins might represent Russia. But this is not a political allegory, and that is ridiculous.
Speaking of Donald Trump: Here is a funny cartoon! Hehe.. hehe.. we'reallsodeadhelpusplease -->
Keep up with updates, every Purrsday (Thursday) starting next week!
Or just whenever I feel like it.
In other news, the most idiotic head of Education possible is a moron. The irony. With the nearly missed confirmation, it is disheartening to see dolphins taking control of America and the rest of the world already. We'll all be six feet under soon-- under water , that is.
This is a scheme by the dolphins, obviously. If this were a political allegory, the dolphins might represent Russia. But this is not a political allegory, and that is ridiculous.
Speaking of Donald Trump: Here is a funny cartoon! Hehe.. hehe.. we'reallsodeadhelpusplease -->
Keep up with updates, every Purrsday (Thursday) starting next week!
Or just whenever I feel like it.
(This is how I fell at the beach, seeing as it is not yet covered in water. Prrrrrrrrrrr..... Mrowwwww.....
Meowbruary 18
Meowbruary 21
Keeping up with our trend of non-political ne-
I'm sorry. I just can't do it. I need politics or I get depressed and ruin sofas. There is no news today. There is just me ruining sofas and eating too much. This section will resume Thursday.
I'm sorry. I just can't do it. I need politics or I get depressed and ruin sofas. There is no news today. There is just me ruining sofas and eating too much. This section will resume Thursday.
Meowbruary 22
Meowbruary 24
Sorry for the wait. I had 6 cups of coffee and I swear I can see noises.
Anyway, about the AMAZING news yesterday-- they found 7 rocky planets, 3 in the "habitable zone" of their star, TRAPPIST-1!
We can all live there soon! But what they didn't tell you...
Our astronomer, who isn't getting his own section because he's British and his accent wouldn't be as funny online, has found that TRAPPIST-e is the origin planet of the dolphins. With any luck, we'll be able to find out more about them.
Anyway, about the AMAZING news yesterday-- they found 7 rocky planets, 3 in the "habitable zone" of their star, TRAPPIST-1!
We can all live there soon! But what they didn't tell you...
Our astronomer, who isn't getting his own section because he's British and his accent wouldn't be as funny online, has found that TRAPPIST-e is the origin planet of the dolphins. With any luck, we'll be able to find out more about them.
Munch 11
It's been a while, hasn't it-- but we are BACK IN BUSINESS!
With the thrilling news about the weakness, it looks like we have a chance!
*mutters* not really well ok maybe a little
BUT YESSSS! THIS IS GREAT! NO WATER!!!
Sadly, *hissss* there has to be a hiatus because our editor would look like this if we posted anything without them.
Also we're really scared of her so yeah we'll resume soon thank you good night!
With the thrilling news about the weakness, it looks like we have a chance!
*mutters* not really well ok maybe a little
BUT YESSSS! THIS IS GREAT! NO WATER!!!
Sadly, *hissss* there has to be a hiatus because our editor would look like this if we posted anything without them.
Also we're really scared of her so yeah we'll resume soon thank you good night!
Fishpril 4
Hisss. They're dragging me back here for whatever reason. I guess I should have updates for you.
Apparently I am "essential" to "the mission".
So, here's an update. Not about the dolphins. About us.
We are expanding our platform! By Fishpril 10, there will be a Playbuzz quiz to take on your survival skills. And it's gonna be awesome.
But on the dolphin front, President Trumpicus' Senior Adviser is...
None other than a dolphin known as Trill II.
That's why he can do so much at once. That's why he is so "trusted". Yeah, right. Things are looking grim here in 'Murica.
Apparently I am "essential" to "the mission".
So, here's an update. Not about the dolphins. About us.
We are expanding our platform! By Fishpril 10, there will be a Playbuzz quiz to take on your survival skills. And it's gonna be awesome.
But on the dolphin front, President Trumpicus' Senior Adviser is...
None other than a dolphin known as Trill II.
That's why he can do so much at once. That's why he is so "trusted". Yeah, right. Things are looking grim here in 'Murica.